Restaurant Review: The Hebridean

It was mid October and mid -week and the wife and myself had a rare night off from Thea. Off we set to Ashton Lane and off to the warmth of The Ubiquitous Chip . After a couple of pints of Furstenberg and standing beside the fire hunger kicked in …

I was pretty adamant that the only place I wanted to try was The Herbridean you see I have been to 111 by Nico and it was great. I had heard mixed reviews on line from The Herbridean and was determined to try it for myself.

Once arriving one can only describe the atmosphere as electric , you see it was MOD week (Scotland’s Premier Gaelic festival don’t you know ). This meant we had a delightful Gaelic Trad band keeping us entertained throughout .

So I’m going to break this review down let’s start with the food

Nibbles : Sourdough bread an goose fat butter and olives

The bread and butter was to die for and the Olives just salty enough for you to keep going back for more

Starters : Arbroath Smoky croquette and

Charlie Barley Black Pudding and Crispy pigs head terraine

I had the croquette fishy and smokey but not too much . The best part the crispy ness of the croquettes

The terraine well that packed a punch and it’s hearty . I honestly didn’t know what to expect

But it was lovely crispy but nice and soft with the black pudding.

Mains : Venison Wellington from the specials menu no picture of this it didn’t last long . So much can go wrong with this dish soggy over done to name a couple . But not this one pastry flaky and venison cooked to perfection and lovely and tender.

Haggis Nepps and tatties

Perfect after a heavy starter according to Harriet it is soft , creamy , peppery and just perfect with The Molinillo Malbec we decided to shsre

Service

We arrived about 8.30pm it was busy and noisy but not that you would notice that by the service. I was really impressed and I can be picky after working in the hospitality industry . I can’t fault it attentive but not over bearing , no rush , and generally very nice which can be rare now adays . One little thing we had a small table by the wall and myself being 6ft 1 I was slightly closer to the gentleman behind me than I would like but as I said very small issue and we hadn’t booked a table .

Value

We had 2 coffees and a bottle of wine on top of the food. I read a newspaper review which said about the price we paid just shy of £100 including tip £50 each but I wasn’t watching the pennies I could of ate and drank cheaper from the menu . I was stuffed at the end so in my eyes worth while . I feel as if you pay for an experience not just the food it’s the location , vibes, atmosphere and service your paying for now. No doubt I will be back soon when I can get a baby sitter

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Returning to Work after having a Child

When Thea was 1 years old I have to admit , I was in not a great place. Due to a hell a lot of things but I have to say my work life was hell.

I had fallen out of love of the education system and needed out. Harriet had just started to work for herself so we decided for myself to take a time out and stay at home with Thea . I mean I was trained in early years so why not . I stayed at home for almost a year and loved it. I built an amazing bond with Thea and it let Harriet’s business grow and flourish .

While at home I did some chaperoning which is looking after children on set I really enjoyed it and when in June I got the opportunity to work on a new BBC kids drama (The Demon Headmaster check it out on CBBC on Monday’s at 5pm )full time it was to good to turn down. I thought going back  to work would change our home life  but it really changed and I guess that’s the same for all parents returning to work .

There is good points and bad points to this so here’s what have found out since returning to work .
Let’s start with the positives :

Money Money Money – Having another income is great we can save ,book a holiday and have treats with Thea at the weekend.

Adult interaction – It’s great to spend time with other adults saying that we behave like children most of the time .

Self worth – working for me builds my self esteem bringing a wage into the family home . Also the self satisfaction of working on a project from start to finish feels great .

Reflection- working long hrs makes you realise what is important in life. It also focuses myself .

Mental Health- I feel mentally much stronger . My confidence is growing meaning my self worth has gone up. On top of that putting myself into new and stressful situations has helped control my anxiety .

Right next up the negatives :

Being away from Thea at 1st it wasn’t bad, but now she knows. When I’m getting ready to leave I get “No No” and sometimes a slap and that’s if she is awake . Sometimes I only see her in the middle of the night to change her nappy that’s hard .

Physically knackered : Being out the house for 14-15 hrs a day brutal . It takes a while for your body and mind to get use to that. Walking 20,000-25,000 steps a day your diet has to change 

Quality time : I say I don’t see Thea it’s the same with Harriet . I’m knackered when I’m back home at the moment so it can be quiet in the house. Meals out and days out haven’t been happening as much. I need to change that and get in a better routine. 

Guilt- what do feel guilty about literally everything at first, but I feel this passes and once you talk about it that helps .

Stress/mental health I’m putting this in as I know in the past my work I hated and it brought on this. Thankfully on returning to work I haven’t suffered this. Why most likely it’s down to being  in a better place. I mean that’s why I went back to work . I’m also on medication so I’m guessing that should get some credit too. If your mental health is taking a battering at work please talk about it to someone straight away don’t let it affect your home life .

Right so overall :

I can sit on the fence and say just do what you feel is right , but deciding to be a stay at home parent or a parent returning to work has a major impact on not just you but your partner and your children .

A prime example is this I had a dad in the an old nursery doing a visit his child was going to start nursery full time at one years old. He couldn’t answer any of the questions I had but told me they had another on the way and the child had to go to nursery .

I’m not saying don’t work , don’t send your child to nursery , but you need a balance and you need to think what you really want. We all have different goals and priorities it’s your choice but remember they are not kids forever .

I like being self employed it’s flexible , I’m my own boss and it works for me and Thea . Could I earn more money yeah but the more you earn the more you spend in my experience . But I do think Day release sorry work is good for the soul and mind which will is good for you and also your family

Staying at Home with a Toddler

At the turn of the year it was decided that I would be staying at home with Thea.

Why? Several reasons my work was quiet, my wife was getting lots of work and I have worked with toddlers for almost 10 years piece of cake . How wrong could I be ?.

I don’t need an alarm anymore my day starts when Thea wakes she doesn’t do late starts anytime between 5am and 6am she will wake me by screaming at me or shouting “Hey Duggee”.

So out of bed I stumble get some fruit and toast on with Thea and the kettle on for me .

Anxiety Over The Christmas Period

The Christmas period is busy busy with lots of parties and social gatherings.

For most these are things to look forward but for some with anxiety they can become overwhelming. It’s far to easy to fall down that anxiety hole and lets be honest Christmas time with kids, do you really have time to climb out that hole.

What caused my Christmas anxiety

My routine is gone I’m overwhelmed and I start to feel slightly empty and my mind goes into over drive.

I didn’t notice my anxiety levels going up until I spoke to friends online and started to workout why I was feeling off centre.

My warning signs of anxiety creeping up:

Insomnia- Takes ours to sleep my mind racing about future events

Can’t get out of bed- see above can’t sleep too much sleep can’t win .

Mr grumpy returns – I was becoming grumpy because my mind won’t switch off I’m stressed, tired and beating myself up.

Sweating – Day or night I sweat a load more.

So my anxiety levels are due to my routine being out and not having clear goals.

Christmas time to me feels like a riot lots of parties, social gatherings, pressure of getting everything right for everyone.

But without a doubt I’m in a better place than previous years to deal with it.

why?, the fact I can write about it and realise what is happening and discuss how I’m feeling means I can tackle it.

So how do I tackle my anxiety over the the holidays?.

– Talk about it with the ones closest to me, having thoughts spinning in my head aren’t going to go away.

– Positive Vibes only it’s only me who can change I how feel. I think of all the positive aspects of my life Thea, Harriet my health , my career, owning a house and write them down.

– Going into social situations sounds really simple try to relax, do some stretches go for a walk. You don’t want to be tense, twitching and sweating which I have done all at the same time within 10 minutes your knackered.

– Fuck it off right you can’t fuck everything off but if it’s something you don’t have to do, will cause you a meltdown, overstretch you fuck it off. You can’t go through life making everybody else happy if your not.

– Its busy but self care is so important if you forget about it. Your mental health can go downhill fast. I won’t get to the gym much but will do jump in for a sauna and steam for some me time. It could be something simple like a walk,podcast,meditation whatever centres you. If you don’t make time at some point you may become overwhelmed.

But remember if you don’t talk about it or admit to how you are feeling you won’t be able to do any of the above.

And remember try to enjoy the holidays and if you need a chat about your anxiety but don’t want burden anyone you can DM me on Instagram therealworkingdad.

Ice Play Activities

Over the last few months Thea has been exploring water and ice. It has been great fun watching her explore,learn and understand both of these .

I have documented these on my Instagram (therealworkingdad ) . But I was thinking how I could I make it easier for us busy parents to take part.

When I thought why don’t I do what I do in nursery . I have all my activties in order in a folder. I have the materials I need, how to set it up , the benefits and development gains and what would I do different the next time .

So I thought I would break it down in blog form so you can print your own list of activties that I have learnt over the 7 years I have worked in early years education.

Ice Play: Exploring ice

For this you will need:

Tupperware

Water

Food colouring

Toys

Fruit

Instructions

Get several Tupperware containers make room in the freezer .

Chop up some fruit apple and banana .

Get a couple of toys like cars,bricks or a bath toy something your child is familiar with it.

Put objects in Tupperware add water and a couple of drops of food colouring.Put in freezer over night.

The next morning take them out leave to thaw slightly so you can get them out the Tupperware .

I used the paddling pool to explore the ice but you can use anywhere you want.

What to do?.

Play with the ice touch it and encourage your child to explore it .

Thea it first was slightly shy about the ice .

If this happens use the ice with the toy in it as your child is familiar with the toy they will be confident to explore it.

Talk about the ice melting this will help develop an understanding of ice and develop language .

Thea loved seeing the ice melt to reveal her car she picked the ice up and tried to smash it several times.

Why put fruit in it.

Yes the fruit becomes like slime.

But children love exploring different textures.

Thea use to hate messy play but by encouraging her to explore it she has become confident in messy play.

As the ice melts your child may eat the fruit while exploring it using different senses like taste ,touch and smell .

This activity is really free play it’s not meant to be structured.

You are letting your child explore the ice.

Each child is different and will learn differently .

All you have to do is encourage them,talk to them and of course prepare it .

Learning benefits:

Problem solving-why is the ice melting

Language development : talking about ice and melting

Sensory play: exploring different textures also helps build confidence and independence .

Fine motor: ice is skippy and difficult to hold so a great workout.

Attachment: Spending time with your child exploring is great for bonding and you learn so much about your child.

Creativty : will they stack the ice, try to use it to draw like Thea .

Physical: if you use a paddling or bath this can be quite a workout as your child is using their core strength to balance and smash the ice.

So there you go your first activity , over the coming weeks I will post more activities for you.

My Journey with Anxiety

Mental Health awareness week maybe over for 2018, but im determined to keep talking about my mental health. Why?  I found the week very inspiring I heard stories from people from all over about their mental health. It gave me the confidence to talk about my own problems with anxiety for the first time since being a child 25 years of bloody anxiety. No wonder my nails are shredded. It gave me the confidence to open up to my parents about how I feel on a daily basis, it has brought us closer together and I have learned more about my childhood and family which helps me understand my anxiety.

Since it has been a few weeks of opening up my mood and anxiety has changed. At first I spoke about it went to the doctor and felt a massive weight off my chest , but as time has gone on I have felt my anxiety come back slightly each day.

Maybe I havent been honest enough with people since that week or maybe not even pro activte enough. I have good days and bad days but deep down my anxiety is still there and my self worth is low. I find writing it down a relaxing process giving me time to reflect and work through my thoughts (having dyslexia and a delay in processing information I write notes and plans all the time).

So here we go…  I am currently signed off work with generalised anxiety after a discussion with my family I resigned from my new job it was completley out my comfort zone and when working with children they need a routine and felt this was the best decision . I go and see the doctor every couple of weeks but they are saying at the moment my confidence and self worth is very low meaning. Im having panic attacks over even small events outside my routine. I am not on any medication at the moment in the past I have been on propanlol and diazepam with different levels of success. I want to discuss my options with the doctor see if there is something that can assist in keeping me with a more consistant and leveled mood. My doctor wants me to work on my confidence and self worth and has suggested CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therpy). What is CBT  ” a type of talking treatment which focuses on how your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes affect your feelings and behaviour, and teaches you coping skills for dealing with different problems”.

I have been to CBT on the NHS before in Glasgow and it was not for me I was rushed in and out and it felt like a tick exercise so I paid for two separate private therapists again I just didn’t make a connection. I had about 20 sessions in total so did try and was honest but felt that I was told to focus on being more assertive and confident whilst remaining calm which even after 20 sessions felt overwhlemimg and still outwith my grasp. So what I am I anxious about my life, health, family, change of routine, noise, to name a few sounds crackers right or maybe it doesn’t and it’s just my mind playing tricks on me.

Having anxiety for so long I have several defence techniques or things I do to calm and centre myself I get up and go out for a walk put my headphones keep my head down and walk for miles pushing the pram and let my mind wander I find sitting still can make my mind feel like its going crazy. The gym I like to keep fit it makes me feel good about myself I like to run longer and lift heavier weights it helps me feel good and builds my confidence for the day. Mediation not in a centre just on my phone do a full body check, get my breathing together, centre myself and battle through. I don’t do this enough life with a young baby there are not enough hours the day.

Writing this blog is a new experince, one I stopped writing as soon as I left school I hated it as I felt I was crap at it. I did’nt get diagnosed with dsylexia and processing delay until I was 29 years old. Throughout school I was called lazy and told I didnt study enough I still get upset looking at my reports I need to stop doing that. Writing this blog however somthing I am interested I enjoy the whole process.

Spending time with my family, I love spending time with Thea and my wife Harriet going out on trips outdoors getting away from the city we often go down south to see family and Thea’s Godparents I feel like a different person being in the countryside without the hustle and bustle of the city. Even though I grew up in the city I don’t know if I belong here and I think about that often maybe too much. I also had ME (Chroinc Fatigue) for a number of years leading to a hopsital stay two weeks after my wedding, my healh plays on my mind most days but I will save that journey for another blog post im going off course now.

Im due to go back to the doctors soon and feel Im ready to tackle my anxiety full on Im fed up of it being at the forefront of my life. I want to find myself and not let my anxiety control me. How will I do that I dont really know yet apart from what I have said above keep talking, do what makes me happy , take care of myself and listen to the advice of the ones I love and my doctor. It’s not all doom and gloom even by writing this I feel in a more positive frame of mind and ready for the day tomorrow. Dont suffer in silence millions of people are going through the same issues if you dont talk it will eat you up and you can go to some very dark places which I dont want anyone to go too.