Lockdown 2020 : I have 99 Problems but Bog Rolls are not one

Since the 23rd March we have been put into lockdown (some will argue we are not in lockdown but that’s not the point of this post)

Our lives changed over night , during the 21 days since we have witnessed some amazing sights and some not so amazing this post will talk about them.

1) Bog Roll . In Britain we know now the answer to the old question “if your stranded on a island what one item would you take” “Bog Roll and make it a 36 pack” . Crazy absolute mayhem in supermarkets. Will we ever know what those people were thinking buying a 100 bog rolls at a time .

2) Clap for our Carers every Thursday night 8pm we open our front doors , get the pots out and bang and cheer. To show our support to all the key workers keeping us safe during this time. I love this it’s really bringing the community spirit back. The 1st night I had a shiver up my spin hearing everyone cheer. I so nice to see people appreciate people.

3) How important a walk and fresh air are . I don’t think I have ever appreciated a simple walk so much. It’s a tough one I found myself guilty for taking my daily exercise but this takes me into point 4

4) No matter what is going on in the world there are going to be twats that don’t listen . Yes you the bog roll warriors , the people having BBQ’s on beaches and having house parties.

5) Schools Out Yes every parents worst nightmare became reality. The schools closed and parents everywhere grabbed a large drink. While everyone without laughed. As a friend said to me “I am living the dream getting paid to play computer games” .

6) Boris got ill and our daily updates got less interesting . Our leader got the virus or did he?. Anyways he disappeared from our screens and I felt the replacements seemed sort of lost witch is saying something as Boris normally looks like a rabbit in the headlights

7) We will not run out of bog roll

8) Social Distancing became a thing told to avoid all contact with others unless essential being an anxious introvert I rejoiced until I found out my toddler was classed as essential . She has taking social distancing the opposite way and won’t leave our side constantly saying “Play with me “ . I look forward to the day I get to go to work and have a day off enough said on that .

9) Football Football Football. It stopped it’s still stopped. We miss it. But I do think what a shambles and a missed opportunity for clubs to work together with communities but there is still time for this to work.

10)Pubs and shops bordered up I woke up went for my early walk and thought I was in the walking dead. Proper doomsday stuff I don’t blame them I live in Glasgow if it’s not nailed down it will be gone.

So lockdown so far has been interesting and challenging for some more than others. We will all experience it differently this post is just my light hearted thoughts. I hope you can relate and it maybe raises a smile.

How to Survive the Winter Bugs

Winter time babies and toddlers will bestruck down with green noses, violent bottom explosions and come to think about it violent mouth explosions .

Can you prepare for it ?.

No each time can be different and can come on with no notice what so ever .

I am going through it with Thea at the moment . For years in nursery I would dread it ill 2-5 years old coming in all emotional and generally unwell. So over the years I have learnt how to help them and make the most of the situation .

Here are my top 10 tips for beating the bugs

10) Prepare make sure your stocked up on baby wipes for those green noses and stinky bottoms.

9) When a child is ill they may not eat meals. They will graze over lots of different finger foods .

8) Den making they can be tired and grumpy they don’t like the light. Get some pillows , blankets , pegs and let your imagination go wild.

7) Teamwork your sleep will be affective so if you get a chance tag out with your partner and have a break spending 24hrs with an ill child is tiring.

6) Fresh Air I know getting your child out when unwell is a drama. But Thea fell asleep within 10 minutes. Being in the fresh air is healthy and gets you both out and about maybe even a chance for a take away coffee.

5) Sky Cinema frozen on all day every day she was like a zombie, don’t know if it comforted her but raised her spirits and gave me a rest. Put their favourite cartoon on.

4) Comfort them, Thea would have what looked like tantrums but in fact she just wanted her back rubbed and a snuggle.

3) Make them laugh ” laughter is the best form of medicine”. It may well be just silly voices or throwing up in air ” not recommended with sickness bugs”.Thea laughs when I dance whatever works for your child

2) Try,Try and try again. The above worked for Thea but at all different times. You almost have to have special Marvel Powers to understand what they want. Unfortunately I don’t so it was a case of trying the above to help her through the day.

1) Children are just like little adults. Remember this when looking after them.

When your ill chances are you will have all the same symptoms . Tired,not hungry,grumpy,sore and just out of sorts . Except you can communicate what is wrong even though no one wants to listen.

So try to think what would you need.

And finally try to enjoy moments of it. Yes it is pain to be off work. But every so often you will get a snuggle , smile or laugh that will make it all worth while .

5am Parents Club Who wants to Join ?.

“5am Parents Club a club for anybody that is woken up between 4.45-6.00 by the children wherever you are in the world”

On becoming a parent I was warned it would be life changing “Tony you will never get a minutes peace”. To say I wasn’t prepared for being woken at 5am or earlier 75% of the time is an understatement.

It’s so bloody early Breakfast News on BBC has not started . I remember the good old days of getting in at 5am after a kebab or pizza and a night of drink and dancing the night away. Instead I’m waking up to a baby gremlin shouting and shaking her cot Butter wouldn’t melt but minutes before it was like a zoo the noise she makes to get me up.

You wake looking at your partner praying it’s not your bloody turn while your partner is nudging you get up baby needs her nappy changed,baby needs a bottle , baby needs Peppa Pig. Bloody Peppa Pig daddy needs Bloody sleep.

So as I navigate getting out of bed without falling over the obstacle course of baby toys and equipment made all the more difficult as my eyes have not adjusted to the light or by being rudely awaking . I have one thought coffee.

Baby has another thought I pick her up and pray her nappy is wet and not soiled the last thing I need is to try to change a 10 month old when my brain and body is functioning at less than 50%.

Into the living room I go get baby on the changing mat dash to the TV get it on get Netflix on and that bloody pig.

This might calm Thea enough for to get through changing her

Netflix and chill is hardly the term I would use for “5am Parents Club” Netflix is an essential survival tool. Once Netflix is on this gives you a window . This window is vital for getting through the hour. Once Peppa is on get the coffee on this energy boast is vital as you prepare babies breakfast and keep them entertained as Netflix will only work so long.

As I said entertainment is vital otherwise you get a noisy angry gremlin sorry baby if you have the energy go wild use your imagination be creative do some messy play or even art work very funny i here you say.

If not read a story and try not to fall asleep or maybe get on the ground and ruin your back more than it already is by playing with toys or just try to survive until daylight hits, your partner wakes or until your little one falls back to sleep.

If this sounds familiar you may want to join the club. But there are some side affects:

Tiredness

Grumpy ness

It can age you

You lose sense of time

You can injure yourself as your working under a lack of sleep

Headaches the noise the constant noise

Sometimes it feels like your in war and it’s only 6.30 am.

But I can offer you benefits :

Great chat with fellow parents going through this war.

Knowing you are not alone and you don’t have a devil child that wakes you at 5am every morning

Self satisfaction of getting through this time unscathed

You are bonding with your child and making memories

Some days you will be a superstar and get loads off your to do list well maybe

You are gaining an extra 2 hrs of the day you would never of had

Its free follow therealworkingdad share the #5amparents club and help each other through this time