A dads experience of labour.I kid you not!.

Baby Thea was due to arrive on the 19 August 2017. We had picked the name prior as I work with children so had a massive list of names I didn’t want. Working in early years eduction I thought I was pretty prepared for becoming a dad even a little smug yeah I work in a nursery with 50 children and had no disasters how wrong could I possibly be!

As I said Thea was due the 19 August so on Sunday the 30th I thought I would be safe to hit the pub my mate he had just been dumped and wanted to drown his sorrows. I thought this could be one of my final opportunities of having a few jars.

After a few maybe 4 I had a moment I can’t explain it it was like a voice saying phone Harriet it could of been the beer. On this advice I phoned to be told that Harriet had thought her waters had broke. I think at this point I had my first panic moment I couldn’t drive I had been in the pub for hrs. I then had the image of an angry Scottish taxi driver in utter rage as Harriet gave birth to Thea in a Scoda.

We were left with one choice call my parents to get a lift as you can imagine. I was slightly worried by this idea my dad is great but useless and it would interfere with his daily routine. My mum would be overjoyed but could get too involved you know what mothers are like! I didn’t have a choice I had a wife in labour telling me to get it sorted so my mother came to pick us up to us to the hospital.

The journey to the hospital was fairly uneventful I was in a state of shock being a mute as my wife and mother took control and talked for Britain as if this was normal it may well be but I’m not an expert of childbirths.

Glasgow Royal infirmary in the early hours of the morning is not a place you want to be really with your pregant wife and mother. It resemanbles a war zone and most people are drunk and arguing with themselves. So last thing I needed was to turn up to part of the hospital that is closed and boarded up like a scene from the walking dead we had to walk for 10 minutes past several people talking to themselves that looked like the walking dead.

Once we arrived I went to reception I was told by a very angry lady I was in the wrong area and my wife should not be walking anywhere let alone the streets of Glasgow while in labour. They put her in a wheelchair and carted her off with me like a naughty school kid behind and my mother carrying Harriet’s pillow showing no signs of leaving.

Once up on the ward Harriet was seen to by a couple of midwifes and I was left outside with my mother! I love my mum but she is intense I don’t really remember what we talked about due the to the Stellas and the general panic/anxiety of oh shit this really happening now! Either way my mother was staying for the birth I think I just wanted it all to be over and everyone to be well.

Soon enough another more happy women told us that Harriet was to be moved into a room for a water bath I wasn’t too keen on this I had refused for 5 years to watch one born every minute I used to say I don’t need to see that it’s too gruesome sorry I know some people love that but not me no way. Again my stress levels went up imagining a paddling pool and something like alien happening. I took a deep breath and went to the room I have to say I was shocked the room was massive and it had a huge bath in it. But Harriet needed the toilet and the midwife was not happy no water bath the baby was on her way cue a frantic walk to another room.

This room was great as well I was on one side my mother on the other the sun was rising my wife was in labour my heart was racing hands were shaking. Harriet started on the Gas inhaling far too fast I thought But was I going to say anything was I balls. A couple of minutes after saying this Gas does nothing I was covered with sick all over my hands,arms and chest.

The birth itself was very quick. Harriet was told to push by the midwife I stayed at the side as I said I didn’t have to see everything my mother on the other hand was like a crazy coach at a football match round the front cheering with encouragement smiling away. You can’t make this shit up I tell you!.

Baby Thea popped out she was tiny we all cried I think with relief as much as anything. Thea was screaming one eye open one closed looking like a pirate I thought. Then Baby was put on the scales as the midwife turned away Thea’s hand grabbed the scales plug and tried to yank it out causing panic from the midwife and her to say I have never seen a baby do that before!

So my life changed forever. I could never imagine a birth like it but I wouldn’t change it for the world it brought the whole family together.

I would love to give some advice, when your expecting your first you get some people that will tell you what to do or expect. I don’t really think you can prepare or know what to expect. In a few hours your world is turned upside down it’s never the same again and it doesn’t matter it literally blows your mind!