The first 6 weeks of this year have been rough for all of us I would say. For me personally I feel my batteries are on running on fumes trying to balance being self employed and having Thea at home as nurseries in Scotland are closed is hardly a bundle of fun, throw in you still cant visit family and friends and most places we go to relax are closed or out of our boundary , I heard rumours if you go 3 miles out of Glasgow you turn to dust, but that cant be true as half of Glasgow has been in Dubai recently (Get back in your boxes if your big enough to go you can take some stick)
So as it dawned on me that 2021 could be just like 2020 changes were needed not just for my wellbeing but my families too I think we all needed to change or adapt otherwise I think the house would of become a cross of Lord of Flies and The Hunger Games a survival of the fittest . So here are some of the changes I have made this year some more successful than others. As I was writing them down I released that some of them were insane.
- Communicate more to all my family this was Harriet and Thea. I work with children so communication at work is vital but also intense you work 9hrs with up to 100 children shouting at you, so at home sometimes my communication is lacking which causes chaos, you just say yes to everything and totally screw it up when you don’t bring home milk or forget to pick up your wife. For my communication to improve I had to listen to my families needs and feelings and stop playing FIFA god dam you family life. But when your in lockdown you need to talk to each other about your feelings.
- Honesty in the past I haven’t always been honest ” Tony how are you” “I am fine ” was the standard answer when normally I had loads of feelings but just surprised them which is like a disasters waiting to happen. I noticed if i was honest my family was honest to and made life easier. We would be honest about needing a break and started taking time outs. Even Thea started saying I am going to relax I need quiet time
- I stopped drinking coffee my anxiety was getting worse and being stuck inside I decided it wasn’t helping anyone. One day I did a coffee diary hells bells no wonder I was anxious the amount of caffeine I was putting in my body to fuel a small army. I of course being an all or nothing type of guy stopped all coffee. What followed is the worse withdrawal symptoms I have ever had in all my life lasted almost 2 weeks we had the sweats, grinding teeth, shakes, migraines ,blurry vision and tiredness like never before. After a few days i doctor google it and was glad to find out I wasn’t dying. I don’t think I will ever have another cup of coffee ever again. On the plus side I am saving a small fortune and my anxiety is not nearly as bad and I can make clearer more decisive decisions.
- Daily Gratitude 3 Things I am grateful I write them down each morning on my phone. One of my best changes. I start the deal more positive and happy. Its crazy something so small can make such a difference to your day.
- Daily Exercise I love to exercise but I like my routine of it go to the gym workout get a sauna and shower I’m happy as Larry. No chance of that this year so far so my exercise started to slip working out outside in Glasgow is grim especially in January. But I need exercise in my life for mental wellbeing it relaxes me. So I changed it up Yoga videos, core videos, running and walking. I am not going to lie I don’t get the same satisfaction from these workouts but they are helping keeping me centred. I guess that’s adapting to 2021 you do what you can, you have to make the most of your situation and keep going.
- I gave up FIFA I have always been a gamer I thought I needed it to relax but actually it was taking up time and annoying me how likes getting beat by a bunch of kids. Should of stopped years ago. This has gave me more time to relax in different ways like going for an evening walk, writing or reading which helps with my mental health making me a better person to be around which brings me onto my final change.
- Selfcare I think most of us could be kinder to ourselves. I use to think I took good care of myself but I never really relaxed. I felt I shouldn’t be allowed to relax I would beat myself up or think it was weak. I would say I was taking time for myself but I never switched off. I now love going for a bath listening to good podcast or going for a walk and taking some pictures of nature. You don’t need a full day for selfcare just 30 minutes here or there and after a while it becomes part of routine and you feel like a new person.
So I started this blog by thinking 2021 has been crappy but actually as I wrote this blog it came to me its enabled me to make changes to my life that benefit me. So just maybe 2021 has been good for me so far.